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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 11:02:34 GMT -5
Since it is so slow, let's play a songwriting game. I'll take 3 phrases out of my notes and see if 1 sparks a thought. Then see if you can get a 4 line stanza out of 1 to be the seed of a new lyric. Just pick 1...
1. Where the houses look like pastry
2. He had his conscience amputated
3. There was something coiled and caged behind her eyes
Modify any of it to suit your needs. Ready? Yeah? Go!
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Post by stickboy on Oct 31, 2012 11:13:14 GMT -5
Where the house looks like pastry
In a garden of gravy
I'm being eaten up, no time to save me
I'll see you on the pavement, friday evening
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Post by oswlek on Oct 31, 2012 11:17:51 GMT -5
It was a good day when he had his conscious amputated No more caring whether he was daring Or swearing he would be there Liberated from the need to feel appreciated  ? |
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Post by rsadasiv on Oct 31, 2012 11:20:12 GMT -5
It was a good day when he had his conscious amputated No more caring whether he was daring Or swearing he would be there Liberated from the need to feel appreciated ? Because modern guilt is overrated? |
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Post by oswlek on Oct 31, 2012 11:22:22 GMT -5
Great line, Ram. I'll have to work it in somehow.
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 11:30:10 GMT -5
It was a good day to have his conscience amputated
Modern guilt is so overrated
Use a blade sharp and serated, and cut right through the bone
Cause you're leaving home, boy, you're leaving home
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 11:37:49 GMT -5
Where the house looks like pastry In a garden of gravy I'm being eaten up, no time to save me I'll see you on the pavement, friday evening Where the houses look like pastry In a garden of roasties and gravy And shrubry of bread pudding enough to be decieivng It's eating me up, so let's meet up right now; I'm leaving I'll see you on the pavement, it's friday evening |
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Post by rsadasiv on Oct 31, 2012 11:38:48 GMT -5
Because who believes a soul can be trapped
In this day between the years
Fuck her, fuck her brains out is the only path to take
Don't listen to those voices speaking in your ears
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 11:46:11 GMT -5
Where the house looks like pastry In a garden of gravy I'm being eaten up, no time to save me I'll see you on the pavement, friday evening Where the houses look like pastry In a garden of roasties and gravy And shrubry of bread pudding enough to be deceiving It's eating me up, so let's meet up right now; I'm leaving I'll see you on the pavement, it's friday evening Where the cops look like tin soldiers And they smile at you if you're older And they'll serve and protect if you're keen to be believing If you watch your back, we can meet up right now; I'm leaving I'll see you on the pavement, it's friday evening |
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 11:48:59 GMT -5
Out on the pavement
Where the ground is hard and your head is lighter than air
Out on the pavement
Ten bucks'll get you where you don't even care, that we don't stand a prayer
Out on the pavement
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 11:56:20 GMT -5
On the Pavement
V1
Where the houses look like pastry
In a garden of roasties and gravy
And shrubry of bread pudding enough to be decieivng
It's eating me up, so let's meet up right now; I'm leaving
I'll see you on the pavement, it's friday evening
V2
Where the cops look like tin soldiers
And they smile at you if you're older
And they'll serve and protect if you're keen to be believing
If you watch your back, we can meet up right now; I'm leaving
I'll see you on the pavement, it's friday evening
B
On the pavement
Where the ground is hard and your head is lighter than air
On the pavement
Ten bucks'll get you where you don't even care, that we don't stand a prayer
On the pavement
V3
Where your life looks like a road map
With the route highlighted like a cold slap
And free will is just an idea, something I'm reading
But if you keep your head, we can meet up right now; I'm leaving
I'll see you on the pavement, it's friday evening
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 12:54:46 GMT -5
Stick, I'm going to have to work this up. You OK with that? You want to help with a cowrite or should I just run with it?
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Post by stickboy on Oct 31, 2012 13:52:56 GMT -5
run run run
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Post by oswlek on Oct 31, 2012 13:53:47 GMT -5
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 14:03:55 GMT -5
 That's you running in the opposite direction right? |
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Post by oldgitplayer on Oct 31, 2012 14:10:26 GMT -5
3. There was something coiled and caged behind her eyes
There is something that quietly lies
Coiled and caged behind her eyes
A predator observing prey
So helplessly locked away
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Post by leeknight on Oct 31, 2012 15:00:16 GMT -5
ooo, ^^^ snaky. I like it.
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Post by marshall on Nov 2, 2012 10:30:34 GMT -5
When the houses look like pastry
That melts like “MacArthur’s Park.
Your conscience is amputated
Before you get to start.
Cause there’s something coiled and caged
Behind her eyes so deep and dark.
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Post by rsadasiv on Nov 2, 2012 10:46:53 GMT -5
When the houses look like pastry
That melts like “MacArthur’s Park.
Your conscience is amputated
Before you get to start.
Cause there’s something coiled and caged
Behind her eyes so deep and dark.
 Yeah, I can't go into any song about food and not think of that poor cake left out in the rain. |
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That's you running in the opposite direction right? 
